Before I dive into this idea of time for oneself I first have a few disclosures. I am a mother of an almost 3 year old and a 4 year old. I was not able to achieve any “sizable” amount of time for myself until about 9 months ago. I have always enjoyed filling my time with things to do and lastly time for oneself does not mean hours of uninterrupted time. So now that we got that out of the way lets get down to it.
I am told often that I have a lot on my plate and asked how I do it. For me it is just my normal but it got me to think, “how do I do it?” Besides being a mother of two, I am a stay at home mom with a husband that works crazy hours. President of one of the two mother’s groups I attend regularly, the cofounder of this amazing site, The Chicken’s Egg and to top it off I am opening my own Etsy store, named Chloe & Noah.
I know what you are thinking. How do I have anytime? Well it’s simple, my kids come first 85 percent of the time. The other 15 percent gets divided up between “me” time and my husband. You are probably still wondering with all that other stuff besides kids how do you have “me” time? The mother’s groups are for myself and my kids. The two groups are very different and fill a very different need in our house. The kids are able to socialize with different kids which is very important to me since they are not in daycare. I want my kids to feel comfortable meeting and interacting with kids they just met as well as friends they have had for a while. I also am able to relax a bit and have “adult” talk while my kids are learning very important social skills. So this gives me some “me” time during the day. Talking with other mothers helps me to recharge and occasionally talk about something not kid related. We also have a few play dates during the week that fills the same needs as the mother’s groups.
I make sure to make time for my kids everyday that doesn’t involve other people. I have noticed a pattern with my kids. If I can give them 30 minutes of undivided attention then I usually can grab 30 minutes of “me” time right after. That is about all I can get before someone needs something or arguing between the kids happens. During this time I am working on the blog or organizing something for my mother’s group. After the kids are in bed or if my husband is home to put them to bed I work on my Chloe & Noah shop. This is my downtime. I am relaxed while making my art and watching TV.
For me the mother’s groups, the blog and my store are “me” time. I know that everyone doesn’t see it the same way. I know my husband doesn’t. He is always telling me I should relax. But doing these things are relaxing to me. I am not saying that you have to fill every last second of the day but next time you get a few minutes while your kids are playing peacefully don’t walk into your kitchen and do the dishes. Instead know what you like to do to relax and have it handy for those few moments you get. My house is not a pig sty but it’s also not spotless and I don’t care. Years from now they won’t be upset about the dishes or the small amounts of time I take for myself because I make sure to spend time having fun with them everyday.
Written by Jamie Jackson